Life is so much better after having sex.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
