I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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