Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
