I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
