I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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