Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
