I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
