2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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