ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
