when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
i've created a new STD.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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