Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So. Much. Porn.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
