That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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