he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
