You just made me feel so damn special
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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