Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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