Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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