Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
