Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My pussy is not your playground.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
