My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
