Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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