I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
