My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
