So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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