He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bring money and cleavage
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
