Jerry, you need to find god
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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