I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I fill condoms, not promises.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize