you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
