Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
