Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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