she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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