I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
