So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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