I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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