I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You can't special order awesome
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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