He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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