she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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