i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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