Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
