bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
