It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
