I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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