hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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