i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
