He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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