What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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