So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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