Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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