We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
