I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize