PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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