We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
