He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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