bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
