I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
