I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize