We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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