hotel room ftw
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
