you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
