He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
